I'm keeping this one positive no matter what, because I have decided that this year, 2014, is going to be my year of wellness. I WILL improve this year. I AM ready, willing and able to improve every day and be my healthiest self. That is my current positive affirmation. My New Year's Resolution is to do everything I can to reach remission, but also to prepare for my future financially and emotionally for some changes.
But in my usual in with a BANG fashion, I enter 2014 with a new unfortunate diagnosis. For about three months now I have had excruciating spinal pain from my lumbar (lower) spine all the way to my cervical spine (top of my neck). After my CT Scan came back normal (YAY!!! What's NORMAL MEAN?) my gut told me we were still missing something. I recently changed my primary doctor because my old one, who I loved, changed to a hospital an hour and a half away. So, I had only met this new doctor once, but he sat with me for almost an hour and a half, just to talk and get to know me.
It was an amazing meeting, actually. He was very understanding and while we all know the conflict surrounding Lyme and the medical community, he listened to me very carefully and was open-minded and seemed to take in everything I said. When we had gone through everything he said, "You know, I work amongst a breed that can be very arrogant. What many doctors don't understand is that when someone comes to you and is ill and in pain, and as in your case, having suffered their whole lives, that it is not an entitlement to treat such patients, but a privilege." I think my jaw hit the ground. I have been VERY lucky with the team the universe has presented me with since I started my treatment with Dr. J and this man seems to be another empathetic and intelligent open mind to work with. For that, I am very grateful.
As I was leaving, he mentioned he was very happy that I was set up with a reputable LLMD and that should Dr. J ever need any local tests ordered, that he would be more than happy to order them. So, I called my PCP and asked him to please order X-Rays of my spine, which he did with no questions or requirement for me to go in for an appointment, as promised "you have enough appointments". I am glad I thought to ask for this because I would get an answer as to what has been wrong, beyond the Lyme nest that has been released into my spinal fluid.
I know that acupuncture will help and I plan on continuing to be treated by Leah here in town (she is amazing), but I am concerned about this and really want to talk long and hard with Dr. J about it. Is this permanent or just a temporary result of treatment? What can I do to prevent it from worsening? How bad can it get?
You see, I am determined to get into remission this year and take my life back. I am determined to make a move away from where I live once I am stable and don't need the constant parental support. I am just determined to have a life and be happy again. And 2014 will do that for me. I am determined for that to be true. But even if Lyme will be my nemesis for life, I need to learn to live with it as an ally, to live with different laws and cultures, but still work in unison together. Not sure if that makes sense to you, but it makes perfect sense to me. In 2013 Lyme was my enemy. I think this year I need to be at peace with it and make sure to create more frequent happy moments.
And so with that, I wish you a Happy New Year!
I picked up your book in Barrington, RI, of all places! I really love your attitude about seeing Lyme as an ally rather than an enemy. I would do well to adjust my attitude to that since I do (less frequently than before) struggle with it, having spent most of the past week in bed - very low energy. Your vacay sounds sublime. Reminds me that in your book you said you had an infra-red sauna. Those are supposed to be extraordinary in helping Lyme pain, per my old LLMD. Maybe it would sooth your back if you could sit in it comfortably.
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