"Remission-ish"

I returned just now from a 2.5 hour drive home from Providence, where I spent three days at an Executive conference for my company. As many of you know, I am lucky enough to work from home, but a few times a year I travel to conferences, meetings, and once a year on an international incentive trip.

These conferences are jam-packed, intense, and full of information There is very little time off and in the past three years, I have always had to leave mid-presentation to sleep for several hours or to get some quiet due to some kind of horrendous health issue. As a high profile consultant, I have HATED that, because people notice when I am gone and I've always felt pressure (from myself) to "be there" no matter what. But I couldn't. For years. I will say, though, I ALWAYS showed up. 

I once went to conference in Palm Beach 6 days after a c-section to remove a coconut sized endometrioma, against my doctor's orders (until I insisted he give me the ok). I went to an Executive Summit on IVs. I went to Mexico in a wheelchair and relaxed with the owners of the company under a palapa by the pool with my IV bag hanging from a palm tree - no joke. I show up. 

These past couple of years on oral antibiotic treatment have been VERY rough on me. It took almost a year to kick the Babesia enough to move onto Bartonella protocol and once we did that, the switch whacked me on my noggin' but now that I am a couple of rounds in to that, I seem to be evening out a little. Last week, prior to conference, was the first week in over a year and a half that I have spent more than 4 hours downstairs in a row at all, much less three days in the same week. That was a big deal. Now, while I had been downstairs quite a bit last week, I still felt like DEATH and was forcing it on myself. I fully expected that this past weekend would be the end of me.

It's amazing how previous health experiences can put patients into full on PTSD mode - expecting the worst. Guilty as charged. It's good to be realistic, to be honest and prepared, but I am reminded that I am as responsible for setting myself up for success in my day, as I am in my business. Thankfully, even though I uncharacteristically went into this conference with the assumption that things would go badly, I allowed the positive to take over and when I felt like I was just too exhausted to sit another minute, I went outside the room and rather than going to my room for a long nap, like I have done in the past, I took a 5 minute standing breather and went back in. And I made it. 

And I had FUN!

Now, I know that this process will be one of baby steps, but babies become toddlers and.. TODDLERS ARE FAST!!!!  None of this means that  I am in the clear, but Dr. J DID say I was weeks away from the beginning stages of remission and I have to say, this feels... "REMISSION-ISH"