"Unfortunate Detour"

It's been a very long time since I last blogged and I apologize for that. Between an absolutely hellacious 6 weeks and putting the finishing touches on the book, I just haven't had it in me. The last cycle had me in more pain that I have experienced in over a year. Every joint in my body was screaming all month and against my usual no-Vicodin policy, there were a lot of painkillers during the whole cycle. My psoriasis and ACA are back as well. My nails have pitted for the first time in ages. I've had terrible episodes of tingling in my limbs and it all just seems endless. New was the feeling of a bruised eyeball I have had for the past week. He looked to find  good deal of blood on the eyeball. Who knows what that is from?  It's been pretty bad.

Worst was the pain I felt from my sacrum all the way up to my upper cervical area. My headaches returned with a vengeance and my feet felt three times their normal size and were hot as can be. My leg pain on my thighs were a nightly nightmare. I had trouble with my words a lot. I also had some clear-minded days while on holiday. It's been nice to be able to articulate myself with spoken words and although I am still not driving (by my own decision), I had a couple of really "normal" days, whatever normal is.

I still struggle with knowing if my normal is the same as the "normal" of people who don't have Lyme. I am sure that those of you who have Lyme or other chronic illnesses can relate to that.

I returned last night from DC where I saw Dr J. It was not how I had wanted the appointment to go.  My physical strength and tests failed miserably and were much worse than they had been. I had no reflexes, no hip or know strength, and pretty much everything he touched hurt a lot, but I did have the cognitive ability to explain everything that has happened. The good news is that while my spleen and liver are reacting and getting their butts kicked, they remain normal size. So that is good.

His words struck hard, but he has become a friend of sorts, at least in my eyes. We know each other now and my appointments are very predictable and honestly, I love seeing Dr J. I feel safe and I admire his brilliance and know he will help me kick this. His words "an unfortunate detour," were pretty devastating to hear. I am tired of the setbacks, of the time I missing with my daughter, of being a prisoner.

During the last two cycles we have integrated a new trial he is doing to break up the biofilm, the jelly-like armor that surrounds the spirochete bacteria and cyst that hold the infections. He succeeded, which is a good thing because now we can get to the spirochetes, but the bad thing is that my Babesia co-infection has been released and is in full force and so while I am so reactive and fragile to all treatment, he expressed that we have no other choice but to go World War III on this. And so my treatment, which had been incredibly pulled back last cycle, is now tripled and we have added two anti-malarials which I have taken before and they have absolutely derailed me to the point if incapacity.

This cycle will be 12 weeks long. Three weeks on antibiotics, then 2.5 weeks off. This will take me straight through the holidays and will make it hard for me to function at all, much less keep my business going to pay my bills and also do publicity for the book, which should be released in about four weeks.

It's not often I get completely overwhelmed, but I am completely overwhelmed. I could use some support. This one is going to be a rough one. I will try to blog through it, as it helps, and I know you want to be updated as to how it goes. I appreciate your readership and support - more than you know.